lactation.

Not once in my life did I EVER imagine I would be Googling breast milk and how to increase the production of it. But I am and I did and now I am on a mission to make it happen. Ever since I came back to work I feel as though I am just not being quite cow like enough. Seriously though even when I pump it just isn't cutting it. Maybe it is because most of the other Moms I know are like cows - legit cows, they could sell that fresh from the boob gold and be millionaires. I on the other hand need to pump 2-3 times to make one bottle for the little one. I know, I know, I know... stress isn't good for the whole milk production thing either but I can't help it. For someone who wasn't convinced that the breast feeding thing was even going to work I have become pretty attached and proud of myself for making it this far. Which in itself is something I should give myself a little more credit for and be proud of - which I will do when I figure out just how to make more damn milk! I drink milk, I eat yogurt and I practically live on cheese - don't you think that ingesting all of that should motivate my body to lactate like it is going out of style?

One would think... but they would be thinking wrong. I drink the 10 zillion ounces of water a day, I get "well-rested" (seriously that piece of advice must have been written by a childless man because being well rested with an infant although not impossible is not an every day occurrence, especially when you are back at work) and I pump religiously every two hours. When I say religiously I mean it. I pump in the car if I have to, I leave meetings, I set an alarm to get one extra pump in at night, I do it all. I mean seriously I am a manufacturer of baby food for the most important person in the world. I have ready every breastfeeding blog, witch doctor recipe and manual there is out there so it is time to bring in the big guns and get this calcium river a flowing (I am pretty sure boobie milk has calcium...oh god... I don't even know what I am feeding my baby...). It is time to add on some assistance to the pump/feed schedule and show these boobies who is boss. After much research I have found there are some natural ways to increase your boob milk- one of those ways includes cookies - so guess what that is happening.So of course I had to try this. Well that is after all of the crazy ingredients were found including brewers yeast (yes I know drinking a beer would be easier to get the yeast but that will be how I wash down the cookie!) ground flax seed, coconut oil and who knows what else. It was an educational shopping experience though because everyone that was visited in order to get these ingredients had another tip and trick to increase the milk flow. So now on top of the cookies (which are amazing and knowing that they are "helping" to make milks totally alleviates the guilt of eating two or three or four at a time) I have hops to make tea with, Fenugreek (which makes me smell like a maple syrup factory because apparently whatever Fenugreek is it is also used to make the maple flavor in syrup - the Aunt Jemima kind not the straight from the tree crap), condensed milk and some tea that smells and tastes just like black licorice (which I hate). But I guess this is just another one of those motherly things that you do - yes I know eating cookies dipped in sweetened condensed milk sounds terrible and you are not jealous one bit (hahah, yeah right! you know you want it) but honestly every time I eat one all I can think is - go straight to my boobs! I am honestly not sure that all of these things are doing my milk any good. Somedays I am sure I see improvement when I pump and somedays I am pretty sure I eat an extra 1000 calories and drink a nasty tea for absolutely nothing... but it is all in the name of baby.